Digital Dilemma, Facebook, Social Media

The Dying Art of Friendship

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Earlier this year I stumbled across an article from 2012 entitled “Friends of a Certain Age: Why is it Hard to Make Friends Over 30?“.  As I get older I find that my definition of friendship has been adjusted to explain what seems to be the “new norm” for maintaining friendships these days.  I’ve made plenty of new friends after hitting 30, but I find communication is often fleeting and shallow, a few hurried text messages or email threads.  My expectations for face-to-face time are greatly reduced.  People are busy!

In order to generate and maintain friendships, the author contends three things must be in place: proximity, chances for repeated, unplanned interactions, and an atmosphere where people feel comfortable to confide in each other.  What isn’t mentioned is the time required to develop and maintain a friendship.  I often find the biggest challenges are finding time to meet in person, and then competing with the allure of the smartphone when we do manage to find a time.

Proximity is also an interesting idea because it hasn’t been adapted for the digital environment where so many friendships are born and thrive.  I know people that maintain close friendships with others they met online (e.g. through game playing or forums), even if they haven’t met in person. Can there be such a thing as digital proximity?  Can you maintain a close friendship through electronic means even if there are no in person interactions?

As if it’s not enough to compete with differing life priorities, diverging interests, and time constraints as we get older, the term “friend” has been cheapened with the advent of social media.  I often hear from people who use Facebook a lot that they feel constrained or inhibited to post what they really want to because of certain Facebook “friends” they’ve accepted.  Are those really friends?  I’ve also read accounts of other people with hundreds of friends and followers on various social media channels yet are unable to rely on any of them.

So while friendship can be entirely created and/or maintained through digital means, does it mean the same thing?  Do we just have to adjust our meaning and interpretation of friendship for online vs. offline friends?  I certainly hope not, but navigating friendship and what it means through all the new communication channels can be challenging.

 

Digital Dilemma, Social Media

Just Say Something!

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Last year a friend of mine remarked in frustration how everybody “likes” (or “favorites”) something on social media.  She would prefer if people said something once in a while through comments.  I noted down her thoughts in a draft posting for the future.  I’m not sure why it interested me so much, but I kept thinking about how people are so willing to give a “like”,  a “thumbs up” or a “star” on a posting, but rarely take the time to write a substantive comment.

I figured it had something to do with the rapid deterioration of communication between humans.  Non-verbal cues account for over 70% of communication, yet we willing dismiss this in favor of more frequent, vapid exchanges through emoji and polling buttons, an easier, faster way to say “I’m here and I care.”  With so little time invested in face-to-face communication it’s no wonder we have nothing substantive to say that couldn’t be summed up with a smiley face or star rating.  Now when we do use words to communicate, we need the emoji to make sure the message is interpreted properly.

A few weeks ago I was reading Terms of Service: Social Media and the Price of Constant Connection by Jacob Silverman.  All of a sudden I had a renewed interest in our pre-packaged communication methods.  Turns out companies prefer when we use symbols, emoji, and polling buttons to express how we feel because it makes our moods and thoughts machine readable.  This means it is easier for companies to analyze us through algorithms and big data analysis.  We’ve willingly provided them with the data they need in a format they can use instantly.

Natural language is more difficult to analyze because it’s nuanced and often requires context to interpret correctly.  In fact, the book discussed a service provided called “Amazon Mechanical Turks” which hires humans to interpret natural language for analysis, among other things.  The tagline is “Artificial Artificial Intelligence.”  Despite everything we read about the power of computers and analysis, some tasks still remain which humans are better at such as facial recognition.  Humans are still more accurate in identifying a match between faces than computers. However, as long as we use symbols and emoji, and name tag all our photos, we make big data analysis of ourselves easier.

 

Digital Dilemma

Nothing to Hide

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It seems that every time I use a new app, or engage with technology, my privacy is being infringed upon in some way.  Turns out, after reading dozens of articles and books about it, it is!  Whenever I discuss this with other people a common response is “So what? I’ve got nothing to hide.”  But is this really how we should be reacting to such ubiquitous data collection about our personal lives?

It’s not about whether or not I’ve got something to hide.  That would imply I was doing something sinister or criminal for which there could be personal or legal repercussions.  For me it’s about whether or not I want somebody (or some company) to know that much about me.  Companies are constantly collecting, analyzing, tracking, and monitoring dozens of data points about all of us, most of which is easily gathered through using apps and smartphones.  Most of the time, despite my personal research efforts, I have no idea what is actually being collected or how it will be used in the present or in the future.  Something that may seem rather innocent now could be used to incriminate or target me at a later point in time.

For example, it’s common for companies to collect data about our buying habits.  This data is then used to send us targeted advertisements, or in some cases, offer different prices on websites based on buying histories, salary information, and proximity to competitor stores.  While I don’t feel like I have anything to hide about what I’m purchasing, I don’t want retailers to know so many details about my habits which enables them to target (and bombard) me with ads, coupons, promotionals, etc. all when they know I’m most likely to make an impulse buy.

As it becomes more common for these types of activities to go unchallenged, we become accustomed to them.  The infringement on our privacy has been gradual and not without benefits, making it easy to accept.  Over time we become complacent and stop thinking about the intrusions as something worrisome or problematic.

You may flippantly dismiss sneaky external data collection with a shrug of the shoulders thinking, I’ve got nothing to hide.  While this may be true, it’s also true that you have something to protect.

Ecuador, Galapagos

Sharks & Tortoises

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The next morning we visited Las Tintoreras, Spanish for a white-tipped reef shark. I had already seen these sharks when snorkeling at Santiago’s black sand beach. We walked around being careful to stay on the trail. The area was loaded with marine iguana nesting sites and walking over them could crush the buried eggs. Consequently lots of cute juvenile marine iguanas skittered around. Aa (pronounced “ah-ah”) lava covered this particular part of the island. Not many animals, including humans, can successfully walk across this type of lava because it’s sharp, pointy, and painful.

A few skittish juvenile marine iguanas hanging out near the trail.

A few skittish juvenile marine iguanas hanging out near the trail.

After the walk we went for one final snorkel. Slate-colored rays nosed around in the sand for food and lots of huge, beautiful multi-colored fish swam by. I had seen many of the species before, but they all seemed a bit larger here.

A ray glided by.

A ray glided by.

At one point four sea lions were right in front of me! It was intimidating at first, but they wanted to play and I couldn’t resist. My guide had told me that sea lions go crazy for bubbles so I started diving and blowing bubbles. The sea lions swirled around, twirling gracefully in the water. They came within inches of us before pivoting away at the last second.

Snorkeling with Sea Lions. Wow!

Snorkeling with Sea Lions. Wow!

My brother took some terrific videos. Initially I was upset he hadn’t gotten more video of me swimming with them. For a brief period of time, I actually felt as graceful and fluid as a sea lion, just by being around them. The video, however, shows a very different portrayal of me turning in awkward, chunky movements sporting a long-sleeve t-shirt, bike shorts, and bright yellow flippers while the sea lions dart and dance around me. I prefer my memory, rather than the harsh reality the video shows.

In the afternoon we went to a Darwin Research Centres to see the famous Galapagos Tortoises. Many tortoise species are endangered due to invasive species (e.g. rats, goats, etc.) and are now bred in captivity until they are mature enough to be released in the wild.

Naturally we saw (and heard) a pair of tortoises mating. It was pretty neat watching them walk on their sturdy legs that protrude at odd angles to their bodies, but yet are perfectly suited for getting them around.  The legs, combined with the domed carapaces, make them like tanks, equipped for trudging through terrain with scrubby, scratchy bushes.

A few juvenile Galapagos Tortoises in the rehabilitation center.

A few juvenile Galapagos Tortoises in the rehabilitation center.

Uncategorized

Technombie 4

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Earlier segments here: Technombie 1, Technombie 2, Technombie 3.

She persevered reviewing each spike and drop in the data points with a meticulous eye. The midpoint of the date had one gigantic spike that she knew had been in response to something funny her date had said, resulting in hearty laughter. A dramatic drop followed when her date went to the bathroom leaving Senjina alone resulting in a few moments of anxiety. She hadn’t brought her ScreenSpace™ with her and couldn’t tell what was going on with her body. Consequently she had been forced to sit quietly alone with nothing but her thoughts observing all the other happy, animated people around her.

Towards the end of the date Senjina was pleased to note two additional spikes, including a slight dilation of her pupils during the last one. Both had been the result of physical contact, another accidental hand brushing while putting on coats and a hug with a cheek kiss.

She squealed with excitement. Yes, this one was going to get a second date, at least as far as she could tell. Of course nothing was certain until her counterpart went through his biometric results and it was a match. She could hardly wait to post the update on her private channel and send it over to his channel for comparison. Hopefully there would be a match. But right now, she had to get ready for the infoozian.

The infoozian chair was set up in one corner of her living room. It had come complimentary following the installation of her feed. One could get the infoozian just from being in the apartment, but this often resulted in repeat sessions, whereas sitting in the chair meant it was over in just one sitting.

She settled into the chair hearing the familiar hiss of air leaving the cushion. Her back relaxed as she placed her hands across her tummy and reclined. Almost instantly she was overcome by a light, heady feeling as a voice started talking. It felt like the voice was directly inside of her head, but Senjina dismissed the thought as an impossibility, instead thinking there must be mini-speakers embedded in the chair somehow.

Mayor Snyder Peebles is a good man. He is concerned about your interests. Who cares if he smoked a little crack? The voice droned in a soothing tone, lulling Senjina into a woozy trance.

He’s doing a good job. Mayor Peebles is a good mayor… a good mayor… a good mayor… 

Senjina’s eyes closed and her head lolled to one side.

 

**The story continues here:

Technombie 5

In the Mayor’s Chambers

Jellyfish

Uncategorized

Technombie 3

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When we last saw Senjina, she was silently urging the cab to go faster so she could review the results of her date before getting the emergency infoozian.  Gillian Bean’s crumpled form still remains to be found. Read Technombie 1 and Technombie 2.

A small camera aimed at the entrance alerted the door that Senjina, resident #00098627 from unit #C001213 was approaching. The door responded by opening noiselessly before Senjina’s foot reached the top step.

Senjina smiled at the door, as though a real person had been there to offer this small courtesy. It was another benefit of the high-tech video surveillance system, especially since the upgrade to use Face-to-Face, the latest in facial recognition software. The upgrade had been protested hotly by some of the residents, who insisted on maintaining a minimal amount of privacy about how and when they entered and exited the building. They lost.

She hadn’t been around for that debate, but she fully supported the facial recognition reports she got about her exact entries and departures. Without that, she could never really remember what she had done. She’d also signed up for the add-on feature that allowed certain restaurants and retailers to monitor her building entries. It was useful on days when she came home too exhausted and hungry to make food for herself. The restaurants she liked could monitor both her entrance into the building, combined with biometric stats, like her ghrelin levels and automatically send her delivery dinner options. It was all very convenient.

But tonight there would be no delivery dinner options. Senjina had just come from dinner and the door would sense that cutting off transmission to the restaurants, at least for tonight.

Senjina approached her apartment door and waved her forearm over the knob causing the lock to slide open. She pushed open the door and headed immediately to her viewing station. Only 20 minutes remained before the first infoozian to review the data.

Luckily she had had the foresight to open up her ScreenSpace™ on the viewing table before she left for the date. She had opted for the expandable edition and once again felt very pleased with her decision as she regarded the thin, translucent screen stretched to its maximum size and spread out at the viewing station.

She waved her forearm over the ScreenSpace™ control area and the options appeared as a series of holographic buttons in the lower right corner.

  • Option: Biometrics
  • Time period: 7pm – 9pm
  • Factors: first date, restaurant, noisy

The ScreenSpace™ transformed instantly to a series of brightly colored graphs, numbers, and analyses. Senjina squinted at the upper left hand corner of the screen, where the stats about physiological changes appeared. According to the results, the first time her heart experienced a faint increase it had been an adverse reaction to the appetizer, some greasy, fried things.

Darn, she thought.   She had been so sure the heart pumps she felt during appetizers was from their hands accidentally touching when they reached for the same crispy globule. She hoped it wouldn’t exceed her allowable limit of bad food intake resulting in another unwelcome boost from the health insurance. Her eyes honed in on the spikes when she had been eating salad.