Spring Cleaning, True Confessions

Moving: Critical Tips

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Here are some of my lessons learned and critical tips from the move.

Tip #1 – Set up Vital Stations

During packing and moving it’s natural for things to get chaotic.  I found that establishing designated places for critical items (e.g. keys, wallet, ID, documents, chargers, etc.) was enormously helpful.  This was especially useful when I was managing four distinct sets of keys and for moving supplies such as tape and scissors.

I recognized the importance of this concept after spending 10 frustrating minutes looking for my apartment keys.  I was carrying a box down to the car when I realized I forgot something.  I put the box down, unlocked the door, ran in, grabbed the item and then couldn’t find the keys to lock up.  Turns out I had thrown them into the box.  Moving generates a lot of activity and confusion so establishing some basic routines during the transition period is helpful.

(Note: Vital Stations are also useful for everyday life.  It alleviates a lot of my stress to know exactly where I placed my keys, wallet, and phone.)

Tip #2 – Keep Things in Context

When the movers disassembled my bed frame they bagged the screws before taping them directly to the bed frame.  Re-assembly was easy because everything was ready to go.

I was not so fortunate with my filing cabinet.  *sigh*  After boxing my physical files, I locked the cabinet so the drawers wouldn’t rattle around.  Then I threw the keys into an unidentified box assuring myself that I would definitely remember which box they were in.  When we were ready to unpack the files, I couldn’t remember where the keys were.  I searched through my spare key collection and emerged triumphant with an option, insisting it was the right one.  The key fit in the lock, but wouldn’t turn.  After partially prying off the cabinet lid to jimmy (and break) the lock, we finally got the darned thing open.  Then we discovered the metal slats on which the folders hang, had fallen out during the move.

Some weeks later I opened a box and found the real keys.  I was wrong about the spare.  Oops  Lesson learned – next time I’m going to remove the metal slats, tape the keys to them, and place everything with the physical files.  I still have two bankers boxes of files waiting to be unpacked.  Maybe tip #2 should really be “Just Go Paperless.”

Moving. Ugh

Moving: Bearing Witness

Moving: Lost & Found

Uncategorized

The 150th Posting

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When I first started The Deletist, 150 postings ago, I had no idea what would happen or where it would take me.  One day in May 2013, while setting up my business, I had a strong feeling that I needed a blog.  Of course it could’ve just been the (ahem) beers talking, but I listened to my instincts and immediately switched tracks to get the blog going.

Right from the beginning I established three house rules which have served me well. It’s a bit amazing to me I’ve managed to adhere to them for so long.  For this week’s special posting, I thought it would be fun to highlight some of my favorites.

The Deletist started with an innocent, exploratory posting on “Multi-step Deletions” wondering why we save so much and delete so little.  It formed the foundation of my Deletion category.  Another favorite is “A Tale of 19 Pillowcases.”  While purging my linens one day I was baffled to discover I had an odd number of pillowcases and a large amount of them.  Yet another gem is “Musings from an Organized Minimalist.”  I’m definitely not a full minimalist yet, but I keep trying.

I kept the momentum going in 2014 and started two series called “Human Archives” and “Digital Dilemma” while continuing to expand on existing categories.  “Human Archives” explores memories I have based solely on how I’ve retained them in my memory or body.  My most recent posting for this series, and a favorite, is “Dad’s Faulkners.”

“Digital Dilemma” focuses on new scenarios and challenges we face due to our reliance on technology and the impact this has on us.  I post a lot to this series, but two that I still enjoy are “The Creative Process” and “When Smartphones Make us Dumb.”

In 2015 I launched the “True Confessions” series, where I fess up about the silly things I do.  I still chuckle at these two: “Am I Procrastinating?” and “Artful Procrastination.”

And finally, my strong aversion to zombies continually inspires me to incorporate them into my annual Halloween postings: “Social Media & Zombies” (and “Social Media & Vampires“) and the four-part “Technombie” series.

To commemorate 150 postings I did a few upgrades.  Please use the new sharebar to share posts you like.  Sign up to receive the weekly newsletter right from the sidebar.  Check out the new Welcome! page.

Coming soon, a Q&A section where you can ask The Deletist about your biggest purging challenges.

 

Digital Dilemma, Digital Photos

Selfie Pay

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As if we’re not obsessed enough with selfies, I just discovered a new software called SelfiePay.  The basic idea is that consumers can verify their identify for purchases by posing for a selfie at checkout to eliminate the need for passwords and verification codes.  The consumer may also be asked to wink, blink, or do a head tilt to ensure it’s a real person requesting the transaction.

On the backend, the merchant is equipped with facial recognition software to validate the image.  MasterCard and Amazon already have plans to incorporate selfie pay options at checkout.  For MasterCard it’s seen as a way to reduce the amount of legitimate purchases rejected because of suspected fraud.

Like every other new technological do-dad and “convenience” I can’t help but wonder about all that nitpicky stuff like privacy, security, and protection of personal information. I haven’t researched it, but I’ve always suspected that Facebook has been secretly perfecting facial recognition algorithms based on all the free data users unwittingly provide by tagging people in pictures.

I feel uneasy about the advances made in facial recognition software because I don’t know, nor can I predict, where all these advances will lead.  A part of me feels like this is the ultimate breach of privacy and I want to preserve my biometric data as belonging to me.  Previously the scenarios using biometric data were fairly limited to fingerprinting (i.e. being arrested, police checks), hand and/or eyeball scanning for immigration or security checkpoints.  With facial recognition software I won’t have any control over when, where, or how I’m being tracked.  I’m not sure I like the idea of my biometrics (e.g. face and fingerprints) becoming the password.  I just can’t imagine the security and encryption on the data stored by the merchants could ever be adequate enough.

And what if you’re generic looking, like me?  It could lead to mistaken identity.  I’m constantly approached by complete strangers who insist that I’m related to somebody they know, or that I’m an adult version of an old schoolmate.  This is rarely the case.  Just to illustrate the point, I was recently contacted by an ex-boyfriend who was so positive he saw me in Osaka that he felt inspired to send me an email, even though we haven’t kept in touch over the last 10 years.  Needless to say, it was not me.

 

Digital Dilemma, Spring Cleaning, True Confessions

Everything has Meaning

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The other week an acquaintance sent me a link to a YouTube video about a woman living in 90 sq. ft. in Manhattan.  Wow!  I clicked on some of the related links and spent almost two hours watching short clips of people living in tiny homes. I was hooked.

I try to be lean and mean with my personal physical belongings, but these tiny home dwellers made me look like a hoarder!  I’m always amazed at these people who so effortlessly keep their homes free and clear of stupid, tiny, scraps of paper and other “stuff.”  Maybe they don’t assign meaning and value to things as easily as I do.  I aim to be tidy, but it takes real effort on my part.  Also, don’t these people have hobbies?  Admittedly my practice area is pretty compact, but I still need space for my instrument, tools, sheet music, stand, etc.

A few days later I watched “We The Tiny House People (Documentary): Small Homes, Tiny Flats & Wee Shelters” by Kirsten Dirksen.  One of my favorite segments featured a man living in 450 sq. ft. in Manhattan.  He talked about how living in a small space made everything feel meaningful to him because he didn’t have space for anything he didn’t value.  He also said that he liked having to make choices.

I started thinking about how well these ideas and philosophies translate to the digital world.  When was the last time we had to make a decision about what to keep or toss in digital format?  I think more often the decision is between purchasing the 2-terabyte or 5-terabyte storage plan.

When we are faced with restrictions and limits, it forces us to make decisions and assign value only to those things which are most important to us.  This idea applies to almost everything, including people and the time we invest in them.  One recurring theme with the tiny home dwellers was how liberated they felt not having to worry about so much stuff all the time.

I was super curious to know if this liberated feeling of the tiny home dwellers transferred to their digital belongings.  Maybe they’re really skilled at keeping physical items to a minimum but are secret digital hoarders.

Perhaps there will be a parallel movement of tiny digital dwellers for those of us who would like to be lean and mean in the electronic world.

 

Spring Cleaning, True Confessions

Moving: Bearing Witness

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I believe that bearing witness is an important part of any purging process.  I’ve sat next to many people while helping them go through their things and make decisions, sometimes difficult ones, about what to keep and what to toss.

The challenge arises because we assign meaning and value to our “things” for any number of reasons, most of which are not based on logic and rationale, but rather from emotion or sentiment.  As a result, our “things” get intertwined with emotions and memories making it challenging to toss them when we need to make space, declutter, get ready to move, or move on.

I’ve come to understand the importance and appreciate the value of bearing witness to another’s purging process.  Or even to having my own purging witnessed.  Having another person there is important to validate the memories and emotions that we’ve attached to our things, some of which make it difficult to let go of the physical (or digital object), even though we can still retain the memory in our minds and bodies.

One afternoon a friend came over to help me pack.  That day I happened to be packing the contents of some shelves in my bedroom.  It was loaded with really personal things, some of which were from high school. I shared with my friend a journal from my teenage years containing a series of cartoons I had drawn with stick figures.  We laughed together over the drawings and captions.  My friend mentioned this was the real reason to have people over to help. It’s not just about the physical labor, but also about the emotional aspect of packing (or purging) that often needs a human witness.  Sometimes we need someone there to watch when we’re ready to purge as a way of moving on after a breakup or death.

Since I’m a regular purger, the whole process didn’t come with a lot of opportunities to reminisce and relive memories triggered by my things.  But then again, I only produced two bags of garbage and one medium-sized box of items to give away which made it more manageable in the frantic last few days before the movers came.

My kitchen cupboards, however, offered me some real opportunities to get creative with the contents resulting in some really odd dishes.  No reminiscing or witnesses necessary here! I think this would qualify as an exception to the rule.

Moving. Ugh.

Moving: Critical Tips

Moving: Lost & Found

Digital Dilemma, Social Media, True Confessions

Digital Emphasis & Weighting

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One thing I’ve grown to dislike about social media is the way in which it alters our perception of what makes something important.  When we are offered only a few bits of information, for example on somebody’s online profile, it skews how we perceive something, or someone.  Yet, if we had the opportunity to meet someone in person to learn all the things we know instantly from an online profile, we would likely form a different impression and make different decisions.

One night I was out with some friends.  At some point in the evening the conversation turned to dating and Tinder. A couple people at the table were using the app.  I was curious to try it.  One of the guys was nice enough to let me make some decisions on his behalf.

Tinder is a popular online dating app that makes picking a potential mate like a game.  Users create a profile by loading up pictures and sometimes write something small about themselves or what they are looking for. The user selects a proximity range and is then offered a profile of their preferred gender which s/he must accept (swipe right) or reject (swipe left) to get to the next profile.

While perusing the profiles and swiping I was really surprised how judgmental and critical I became based on a handful of pictures and a few sentences of text.  For example, one woman had terrible grammar in her profile description.  To me that was an immediate left swipe.  My personal feeling about people who can’t take the time to proofread their online profiles is that they are not worth my time.

However, if I really hit it off with a man I met in person and then sent me a message with a few mistakes, I would probably be more forgiving.  Whereas if the messages happened in a digital environment before meeting it would likely result in instant rejection.

The man who let me swipe for him told me he instantly rejected women who didn’t have at least two profile pictures. This is yet another example of how we place great emphasis and weight on small things to make decisions.  I also wonder how the volume of available options impacts our criteria.  Maybe if we had less options on dating apps we might be more generous towards people with bad grammar or only one profile picture.