Sunday my orchestra played the first concert of the season. We had a stellar program featuring Beethoven’s Egmont Overture and 3rd Piano Concerto. After intermission we played Brahms’s second symphony. Once again, I felt transported to someplace magical, free of phones, distractions, and everything except the feeling of the music. There’s something about playing the bassoon that instantly puts me in the “flow” state.
A long time fan of the This American Life podcast, they recently replayed their “Middle School” episode. In one of the segments, one of the guests explained that around middle school age is when the brain starts to prioritize and focus on certain activities. This is likely why we remember things from this age so clearly. I also think this is why the bassoon, and playing music, still feels so fresh to me. This Thursday marks 38 years of playing bassoon, something, incidentally, that I started in my tender middle school days. No doubt my brain, and my body, grew gnarled around this hypnotizing, alluring instrument.
In this first concert, as in most shows, I still retain those initial feelings of excitement. The same ones I felt as a tween and then a teenager. Yet, they were heightened by my 38 years of skill to help navigate the thickly, textured Brahms and to stay focused through the delightful piano concerto. Same as always, Beethoven has a magical, transcendent quality about it, instantly transporting me into the present moment.
I can always tell when I’m in the flow playing music. For me, one telltale signs is they way I can focus completely on what’s happening at that moment. I’m not feeling nervous or agitated about the fast runs up ahead, the hard parts coming up, or the nerve-wracking solos waiting to pop out. Even more importantly, I’m not fixating or obsessing about any wrong notes, or parts that didn’t come out as I had practiced them. They’re already in the past. I’m already playing the next thing coming.
The conductor introduced the Brahms explaining to the audience that you won’t walk away from it being able to hum a poignant theme or catchy melody. Rather, you’ll leave the concert having experienced the feelings evoked by the music. I feel this is true even for me. While some phrases remain in my mind long after the performance, what endures longer are the emotions remaining after a satisfying program.