Digital Dilemma, Social Media

Social Media & Dating

by  •  • 2 Comments

It occurred to me recently that social media has really destroyed the discovery process of getting to know someone when going out on dates. Social media makes it really easy to “learn” a lot about a person before meeting them. The danger with this, however, is that you may be exposed to information about the other person out of context. Maybe there are certain things about a person you might be willing to accept if you knew him/her a little bit better, but that feels very off-putting when you read about it, or see photos, without having met in person.

I often think about this in reference to my Facebook photos, about 98% of which were posted by other people.  Or how my Facebook friends do not fully represent my strongest relationships since most of those people aren’t actually on Facebook.  Or if they are, we almost never communicate through this platform.  The point is, it’s not an accurate representation of me and it might lead somebody looking at it before meeting me to get a vastly different impression of what I’m really like.

One time I was having a friendly IM chat with somebody I “met” through online dating.  Through the IMs he told me about a particular fetish he had and wanted to know if that was a turn off.  I advised the gent that this was the kind of thing he might want to share after, or during, a first in-person meeting.  Or maybe even after a few dates.  My feeling is that certain things may feel possible with somebody once you get to know him/her, but without any context, or frame of reference, or solid physical attraction, it might be an instant turn off rather than a consideration.

The other consideration is the pace at which you receive information.  When you meet somebody in person, you can ask questions, or only discuss certain topics, to guide the conversation and shape the experience.  But if you look somebody up on social media, it’s just a big data dump without any background details.

When I go out on dates, I enjoy the discovery process and learning about things in context.  Besides which many aspects of dating can only come from meeting, such as physical attraction, smells, laughter, eye contact, body language, etc.  All this to say, get off of social media and start learning about people face-to-face.

Digital Dilemma, Social Media

Connection Paradox

by  •  • 2 Comments

The internet, and social media in particular, has given us new options for connecting with people.  “Friend” people on Facebook, follow people on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr, or connect with people on LinkedIn.  But do these digital connections have the same meaning as a flesh-and-blood connection?  By that I mean actually working at a establishing a connection with somebody the old fashioned way through face-to-face interactions, real conversations, and sending messages more than 140 characters long.

I was on Facebook last month and happened to see a rather humorous, but odd posting, from a friend of mine.  She posted something about her horrendous morning commute, including a germ-filled encounter with a sickly person.  On the one hand, for those of us that brave the wilds of public transit, it was pretty funny.  On the other hand, I couldn’t help but think not that long ago this was the kind of thing I would have only shared with a close friend via call/text.  Maybe I would’ve ranted about it to a co-worker.  But broadcasting it on Facebook?

When I see these types of things shared so broadly I have to wonder about the motivation behind it.  Is it because we think our life events are so amazing, funny, or remarkable that other people are really interested in knowing about them?  Is it because we want the attention and rush of happy emotions we get when others “like” or “favorite” our posts?  Is this the kind of thing that really makes us feel more connected?

Everybody talks about how great it is to be connected through social media, but are we?  People use social media to foster connections, but I have to think maybe this isn’t so successful for everybody when I hear about companies offering professional cuddlers for people starved for human touch.  Or I see companies with boyfriends for hire.  All those Facebook “friends” and not one who could be relied on for a hug or as a date for some event?  Then I see how people interact face to face and the availability of these services doesn’t seem so bizarre to me.

Here’s a photo I snapped surreptitiously of a couple spending time together.  If this is what it looks like to be in a couple, no wonder we need professional cuddling services.

A couple spending quality time together.

A couple spending quality time together.

 

Ecuador, Galapagos

Isle of the Red-footed Booby

by  •  • 3 Comments

We boarded the pangas at 6:30am to reach Genovese Island, home of the elusive Red-footed Booby.  This is the only island to see this particular type of booby in the entire archipelago. At the landing dock a mama fur seal and her pup rested peacefully until we came along.  They’re actually sea lions but were named incorrectly as Galapagos Fur Seals.  Once the sea lions left we disembarked and climbed up some stone steps to reach the top of the cliff.

This adult Nazca Booby was standing sentry at the top of the stairs we climbed to reach the birds.

This adult Nazca Booby was standing sentry at the top of the stairs we climbed to reach the birds.

The hike took us through the rocky, dry terrain of the Red-footed and Nazca Boobies. All kinds of birds were perched everywhere on the ground, the rocks and in the trees. As a special adaptation to the Galapagos Islands, the Red-footed Boobies use their webbed feet designed for swimming to perch in the branches. This is to eliminate competition with other boobie species that stay on the ground.

Some of the birds were curious and watched us intently trying to figure out what we were and what we were doing.

This juvenile Nazca Booby couldn't help checking out the group as we walked by.

This juvenile Nazca Booby couldn’t help checking out the group as we walked by.

We continued on the sandy trail to a large expanse of rocky terrain extending to the cliff’s edge where dozens of petrels swirled around. We were looking for the short-eared owl that preys on these birds.  Somebody spotted one in the distance, a small statuesque figure camouflaged to look like a rock, but with a sheen to the feathers.  The owl was too far away to photograph, but we saw it fly a few times and shake up the petrels before landing to continue its observations.

After touring bird island, we suited up for deep water snorkeling. Again I was treated to the sights and marvels beneath the ocean’s surface. Fish, coral, colorful, spiky sea anemones, and the patterns made by the sunlight piercing through the water.

That afternoon we went for a walk near some mangroves. This time we were at the base of the cliff and the landscape was totally different.

A Red-footed Booby roosting in the mangroves.

A Red-footed Booby roosting in the mangroves.

On the beach a dozen sea lions lazed around napping, including two mothers nursing their pups and a beach master (i.e. the alpha male). We saw scores of boobies, herons, frigates and other birds nesting, eating and making lots of noise.

A beach master protecting his harem from shutter-happy tourists. Note the nursing pup on the right. Another nursing pup was also on the left, but not shown in this picture.

A beach master protecting his harem from shutter-happy tourists. Note the nursing pup on the right. Another nursing pup was also on the left, but not shown in this picture.

The sand was whitish and littered with pieces of coral and small shells. We had a bit of free time to explore which most people used to walk around the beach. I plunged in for another swim hoping the sea lions would come play, but no luck this time.

Deletion, Spring Cleaning, True Confessions

Spring Cleaning Challenge

by  •  • 4 Comments

Procrastinating on some annoying clean project? If so, now is the time to get it done and potentially win a prize.  Everybody’s a winner!

This posting is lucky #104, signifying two years of weekly posts!  To commemorate the event The Deletist is running a Spring Cleaning Challenge.

Rules:

1.  The project has to be something that you’ve put off for at least 6 months.  Ideally something that either:

  • bugs you and causes stress;
  • you’ve stopped noticing because it’s become part of the landscape; or
  • something hidden away (e.g. closet, cupboard, folder on hard drive) where it’s easy to ignore, but that still creeps into your thoughts.

2.  The project must be processed completely, no fair shoving everything in a bag or a box to relocate it.  Or scanning papers to be stored electronically, which only transfers the mess from one format to another.  Remember the message of The Deletist is to be strategic.

3.  The project can be for physical and/or electronic items.

***Bonus points if this project clears the way for you to do one or more actions.  For example, if you couldn’t move, or buy, a piece of furniture because you had to clean something to create space.

Tips: Start small, start easy.  Be strategic! 

Prize: $50 gift card to a vendor of your choice

Submission Rules: Jot down your answers to the questions below, and send them along with a before and an after picture to info@thedeletist.com

Deadline: Monday June 22.

Winner selected: July 1

Questions:

  1. What was your Spring Clean Challenge? [brief description]
  2. How long had you been procrastinating on cleaning up this area?
  3. Why were you procrastinating?
  4. On a scale of 1 – 10, how annoyed/stressed/guilty, etc. did you feel before?
  5. On a scale of 1 – 10, how relieved did you feel after?

***Bonus question: were you able accomplish another action based on the results of the Spring Cleaning?  If yes, please elaborate.

I will also be challenging myself with an annoying clean project.  Approximately 6 months ago my bookcase broke while I was moving it, completely filled, by slowly dragging it across the rug.  This was not a good plan. The whole thing fell apart and I had to empty it rapidly to avoid disaster and injury.  Some of the books were relocated to available cupboard space, but the rest ended up unceremoniously stacked in the home office closet, out of sight.  The Deletist is, after all, a mere mortal in real life.

Gasp! Residue from the broken bookcase. Also a pile or two of filing on the upper shelf.

Gasp! Residue from the broken bookcase. Also a pile or two of filing on the upper shelf.

The horror! Bankers boxes stowed in the back corner of the closet. This is how I "processed" them last Fall when I challenged myself to get rid of them. The dresser is empty, btw.

The horror! Bankers boxes stowed in the back corner of the closet. This is how I “processed” them last Fall when I challenged myself to get rid of them. The dresser is empty, btw.

Digital Dilemma

Internet of Things

by  •  • 1 Comment

Over the past few months I’ve been hearing and reading about the Internet of Things.  Basically “things,” such as streetlights, stoves, parking spaces, doors, fridges, implanted medical devices etc. will be equipped with a sensor (to collect data), a unique identifier (e.g. barcode, IP address, etc.) and the ability to transfer data through an Internet connection.  Communication can then happen seamlessly between “things,” with or without a human connection.  For example, your fridge could send a notification to you when the milk is expiring while you’re near a grocery store.  Like every new technological advance, there are a number of obvious advantages coupled with sinister uses, the ever present threat to our personal security, and more ways to compromise our confidentiality.

One example of advantage is through a company called Nest that produces “smart” thermostats and a smoke/CO detector.  The “smart” thermostat learns the patterns of a household so that temperature adjustments happen automaticaly.  Both the thermostat and smoke/CO detector can be checked/adjusted remotely through a smartphone app connected to the devices.  Super useful if you’re away from the house.

Another product I recently read about is from Meld, a “smart” stove knob that adjusts the temperature of whatever you are cooking.  The knob is paired with a temperature clip that attaches to the pot and then controlled/monitored through an app.  Check out a video of how it works:

Everytime I hear about the Internet of Things I feel excited, but also apprehensive.  I can think of a few connected “things” I would appreciate, especially ones that would help out with being more energy efficient.  But then I start to feel nervous thinking about the massive amounts of data production, how everything will be connected, and what types of safeguards will have to put in place.  Even for products like those produced by Nest and Meld, which seem super useful and low-risk, could pose dangers if they were hacked.  What if somebody was able to turn your stove on remotely via Meld while simultaneously disabling your Nest smoke detector?

As the Internet of Things gains momentum it’s likely we will all start to see a few more of those Creepy Connections I mentioned in an earlier post, except the connections may extend far beyond social ones.

Digital Dilemma, Digital Photos, Social Media, Twitter

Live Video Streaming

by  •  • 1 Comment

Meerkat and Periscope are two new apps that allow people to transmit live video streams.  Basically, you can transmit live video via your smartphone or webcam to followers who want to watch the action in real time. With Periscope you must be connected through Twitter to view streams, but I discovered a webpage of aggregated Meerkat streams so I was able to check a few out by logging in with my Twitter account.

I reviewed the two most popular streams available:

  1. Pretty Women on Rodeo – live stream of a woman getting ready for her #shoppingspree; and
  2. Chill by the Pool – live stream of a bikini-clad woman hanging out by a pool.  The highlight was the spectator comments when the woman rinsed jam off her fingers in the pool after eating a jelly doughnut.*

I suppose these two samples might be considered an improvement over the ever popular fridge tours people streamed when the apps first appeared.  And I suppose part of the appeal is the ability for spectators to write commentary and append “hearts” to things that are liked or popular.  It makes watching interactive, maybe not as interactive as being there in person, but perhaps a nice alternative if you can’t physically be there.

New ways to use the live streaming, beyond fridge tours and pool chilling, are already being put to the test. The potential is enormous, such as streaming events for news coverage, but also poses a number of challenges about who can stream what and how to manage it. For example one sporting arena has “banned” live streaming by patrons during games specifically so broadcasters can make all the money. But how will this be monitored and enforced?

Meerkat streams disappear immediately, meaning it’s not available after the initial showing. The video may still be saved and stored somewhere, but for viewers it’s not available. Periscope, on the other hand, allows video to be accessed for 24 hours after the initial streaming. It’s just a matter of time before an app appears to save the streams, similar to what happened with Snapchat.

Even if you could save it, would you want to? Saving video requires a lot of memory and is challenging to search because it’s a non-textual format (i.e. no text available for keyword searches). Finding anything would require an organization system, which many of us are not willing to create and maintain.

*Not only was the stream boring, but as a swimmer I was totally grossed out by her washing her fingers in the pool.