Spring Cleaning, True Confessions

Moving: Lost & Found

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Even though moving is a huge pain and disruptive, it often offers opportunities to find things that were once thought lost forever.  Or sometimes it allows for one to discover lost treasures or once again become reacquainted with a cherished, but seldom used, object. And sometimes things just get lost in the shuffle.

Due to my purging tendencies I didn’t have too many discoveries, a noted disadvantage to being an organized minimalist.  I did, however, find three things of importance.  One was a membership card that I “lost” years ago and had already paid $25 to replace.  Ironically, I found the card in its usual place, a dresser drawer.  The card had managed to slip in between the papers I used for a drawer liner.  Although I had moved the drawer liners to search, the card remained undetected caught in between the sheets.

The other card belonged with “The Breathe Easy Deck” (meditation cards) and was one of my favorites. My mother had the same deck and graciously agreed to supply me with the missing card, thus rendering her own deck incomplete.  I was pretty excited when the card materialized pressed against the wall after my night stand was moved.

The third thing was a perpetual calendar with an inscription on it to my father.  It had been given to him as a present for his years of service as a public high school teacher.  Some months ago it had fallen behind my dresser, unnoticed, and remained there until the dresser was moved.  Good find!

On the flip side, I lost my umbrella in the move.  I found the case for the umbrella (pictured below), but not the actual umbrella.  I know it can be replaced, but I’ve had it since 2007 and I was rather fond of it.  The top was pink and the underside was covered in flowers.  I bought it during my Vancouver years after a friend advised me to buy an umbrella that I liked looking at since I would be spending a lot of time under it.

Fabric Sample of Umbrella Underside

The umbrella case flipped inside out to show the pink outside and pretty floral print from the underside.

I also lost a small gadget I liked about 6 months ago.  I resisted buying a replacement because I was positive that it would turn up when I eventually moved.  It didn’t.  *sigh*  Looks like I’ll have to buy a new one after all.

All things considered, not too bad.

Moving. Ugh.

Moving: Critical Tips

Moving: Bearing Witness

Human Archives

The Baby’s Cry

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I dreaded returning to my childhood home for visits the year following my father’s death.  During my daily life I could manage to float through each day in a bereavement fog, enveloped in my grief, but without any major triggers.  A trip home meant being reminded of the loss 24/7.

One of the most difficult parts was getting used to the shock of not seeing my father at the train station to pick me up.  Every time I visited I could feel my steps slowing down as I walked to the station from the train.  By the time I got on the escalator for the final ascent to the station I would be near tears, struggling to breathe around the weight building in my chest.  I would emerge and not see him.  It started off every visit on a bad note.  I was instantly cranky and upset.

Once my mother understood this, she made sure that she was there at the top of the escalator to run interference and greet me.  She would swoop over to hug me before the shock of not seeing my father had a chance to settle.  It was a small gesture, but one that touched me deeply.  And over time, helped to heal the hurt by creating new memories.

More than a decade later, I’m continually reminded of this small, silent action of my mother’s because I see that she is always doing nice things for me out of love.  I think moms have a special knack for hearing their baby’s cries, no matter what age.

A friend and I discussed this the other week. He was about to participate in a special tribute concert to Prince as part of the choir.  He wondered if his mom would be able to hear his voice out of the crowd.  I remarked how proud I was of my mother because she could always hear me in the orchestra (~60-70 people).  I attributed this to the long years she suffered through listening to my practice sessions, a real testament of her love.

But my friend had a different thought.  He said of course she could hear my “voice” in the orchestra and compared the situation to a colony of penguins.  To our ears, thousands of penguins communicating all sound the same, but parents and chicks are easily able to recognize their distinctive calls and find each other in the crowd.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Dedicated to Mom, and all the mothers of the world.

Human Archives

Wonder

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Every year when spring finally comes, I reacquaint myself with the bees that have been missing from the landscape during the long winter months.  I am continually humbled and amazed by these tiny creatures buzzing tirelessly from flower to flower collecting pollen.  As one of the world’s mighty pollinators, everything they touch turns to gold in the form of honey, honeycomb, bee pollen, royal jelly, wax and probably some other bee products I don’t even know about.

These fascinating insects have also inspired expressions commonly used in English such as:

  • busy as a bee
  • bee in your bonnet
  • the birds and the bees
  • queen bee

One bee busily collecting pollen from a thistle in Montreal's Parc des Rapides.

One bee busily collecting pollen from a thistle in Montreal’s Parc des Rapides.

I enjoy watching bees busily collecting pollen, moving from flower to flower.  I love hearing the soft, hum-like buzz of their wings.  It turns out I always liked bees. I drew tons of them as a child, something I rediscovered last summer while going through boxes of my childhood art. When I was about 7 or 8, I showed my appreciation for this magical insect by turning myself into one for Halloween. My mother even sewed a stinger.

A bee buzzing around some echinacea in my mom's garden.

A bee buzzing around some echinacea in my mom’s garden.

For nearly a decade I’ve been reading about the mysterious disappearances of bees called Colony Collapse Disorder [CCD].  Often pollution is cited as one of the main reasons, but I’m sure it is due to any number of factors.  The results, however, will be dire for the world’s plants, many of which depend on bee pollinators for their survival.  This includes many foods we enjoy eating like apples, cucumbers, and pears.

I feel sad when I think about these tiny, magical creatures that are so rarely considered as they work industriously to provide beneficial things.  When I do see bees, I always take a few moments to pause and watch them, giving silent gratitude for the many wondrous things they do for us, including the production of honey a personal favorite.  I appreciate that they’re still around.  I also have a healthy amount of respect for the apiarists of the world, who tend to and care for the bees.

A lot of campaigns have started in the last few years to save the bees.  If you’re a fan of bees, like me, or maybe just realized how important they are as pollinators, do a search and find out what you can do.

A bee buzzing around during one of morning commutes on the bike last summer.

A bee buzzing around during one of morning commutes on the bike last summer.

 

Digital Dilemma, Social Media

Bumble BFF

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Online dating app Bumble recently started offering matching services to find a BFF [best friend forever] of the same sex.  Bumble works similarly to Tinder, except that women make the first move, once a match is made.  After completing a profile and uploading photos, users are offered potential matches based on location.  Users swipe right to say “yes” and swipe left to reject, kind of like a game. If both parties say “yes”, it’s a match and contact info is shared.  With Bumble females have 24-hours to contact a match, otherwise it disappears.  This is to help prevent harassing messages being sent from men to women.

Bumble expanded the platform for friend matching.  Users can switch from finding love to swiping right for a new BFF based on a few photos and a profile.  Friendship, however, is based on more than just looks.  We make decisions instantly when we meet someone based on all sorts of things, many of which are non-verbal and can’t be reproduced digitally.

Maybe all the time spent swiping for a new BFF could be spent looking for activities, or social events to attend, with like-minded people as a way to make friends.  What happened to making friends the old fashioned way where you when friendship started in person based on common interests and shared experiences?  One article mentioned Bumble was working on algorithms to suggest matches based on data from users’ Facebook pages.  This could provide opportunities for matches based on common interests.

It seems strange to me to “shop” for friends through an online service, but that’s how I used to think about online dating.  And in some ways, why is it any different to look for a romantic partner vs. a friend through an online platform?  Lots of other platforms exist online for meeting like-minded people socially through organizations, meet up groups, networking events, etc.  They offer group settings and opportunities to meet, whereas Bumble focuses on creating one-to-one connections, no physical contact necessary.

The appeal of using online methods diminishes for me when potential matches turn into a lot of useless texting and missed, half-hearted attempts to meet in person.  At least this is how a lot of online dating matches turned out, if the goal wasn’t a quick hook up.  Will we one day have “friend” hookups the same way we do with online dating?  What would that look like?

 

 

Spring Cleaning, True Confessions

Moving: Critical Tips

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Here are some of my lessons learned and critical tips from the move.

Tip #1 – Set up Vital Stations

During packing and moving it’s natural for things to get chaotic.  I found that establishing designated places for critical items (e.g. keys, wallet, ID, documents, chargers, etc.) was enormously helpful.  This was especially useful when I was managing four distinct sets of keys and for moving supplies such as tape and scissors.

I recognized the importance of this concept after spending 10 frustrating minutes looking for my apartment keys.  I was carrying a box down to the car when I realized I forgot something.  I put the box down, unlocked the door, ran in, grabbed the item and then couldn’t find the keys to lock up.  Turns out I had thrown them into the box.  Moving generates a lot of activity and confusion so establishing some basic routines during the transition period is helpful.

(Note: Vital Stations are also useful for everyday life.  It alleviates a lot of my stress to know exactly where I placed my keys, wallet, and phone.)

Tip #2 – Keep Things in Context

When the movers disassembled my bed frame they bagged the screws before taping them directly to the bed frame.  Re-assembly was easy because everything was ready to go.

I was not so fortunate with my filing cabinet.  *sigh*  After boxing my physical files, I locked the cabinet so the drawers wouldn’t rattle around.  Then I threw the keys into an unidentified box assuring myself that I would definitely remember which box they were in.  When we were ready to unpack the files, I couldn’t remember where the keys were.  I searched through my spare key collection and emerged triumphant with an option, insisting it was the right one.  The key fit in the lock, but wouldn’t turn.  After partially prying off the cabinet lid to jimmy (and break) the lock, we finally got the darned thing open.  Then we discovered the metal slats on which the folders hang, had fallen out during the move.

Some weeks later I opened a box and found the real keys.  I was wrong about the spare.  Oops  Lesson learned – next time I’m going to remove the metal slats, tape the keys to them, and place everything with the physical files.  I still have two bankers boxes of files waiting to be unpacked.  Maybe tip #2 should really be “Just Go Paperless.”

Moving. Ugh

Moving: Bearing Witness

Moving: Lost & Found

Uncategorized

The 150th Posting

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When I first started The Deletist, 150 postings ago, I had no idea what would happen or where it would take me.  One day in May 2013, while setting up my business, I had a strong feeling that I needed a blog.  Of course it could’ve just been the (ahem) beers talking, but I listened to my instincts and immediately switched tracks to get the blog going.

Right from the beginning I established three house rules which have served me well. It’s a bit amazing to me I’ve managed to adhere to them for so long.  For this week’s special posting, I thought it would be fun to highlight some of my favorites.

The Deletist started with an innocent, exploratory posting on “Multi-step Deletions” wondering why we save so much and delete so little.  It formed the foundation of my Deletion category.  Another favorite is “A Tale of 19 Pillowcases.”  While purging my linens one day I was baffled to discover I had an odd number of pillowcases and a large amount of them.  Yet another gem is “Musings from an Organized Minimalist.”  I’m definitely not a full minimalist yet, but I keep trying.

I kept the momentum going in 2014 and started two series called “Human Archives” and “Digital Dilemma” while continuing to expand on existing categories.  “Human Archives” explores memories I have based solely on how I’ve retained them in my memory or body.  My most recent posting for this series, and a favorite, is “Dad’s Faulkners.”

“Digital Dilemma” focuses on new scenarios and challenges we face due to our reliance on technology and the impact this has on us.  I post a lot to this series, but two that I still enjoy are “The Creative Process” and “When Smartphones Make us Dumb.”

In 2015 I launched the “True Confessions” series, where I fess up about the silly things I do.  I still chuckle at these two: “Am I Procrastinating?” and “Artful Procrastination.”

And finally, my strong aversion to zombies continually inspires me to incorporate them into my annual Halloween postings: “Social Media & Zombies” (and “Social Media & Vampires“) and the four-part “Technombie” series.

To commemorate 150 postings I did a few upgrades.  Please use the new sharebar to share posts you like.  Sign up to receive the weekly newsletter right from the sidebar.  Check out the new Welcome! page.

Coming soon, a Q&A section where you can ask The Deletist about your biggest purging challenges.