Productivity, Spring Cleaning, True Confessions

On Being Nibbled to Death

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For about a year after my father died, I attended a weekly bereavement group. We had a few running themes as we tried to navigate our new lives through a fog of grief. One of the recurring themes, exclaimed often by the originator and one of my favorite attendees, was the feeling of “being nibbled to death by ducks.”

Look at the glint in his eyes! Clearly this duck is a nibbler by nature.

This woman, a youngish mother of two children, tween and teenaged, was left widowed when a freaky, rare cancer killed her healthy husband in a matter of months. She came week after week and would often conclude her updates with an exasperated sigh, hands going up in the air, before voicing, “I’m being nibbled to death by ducks!”

We would all chuckle appreciatively, grateful for a little humor to relieve some of the heaviness in the room. Not because we didn’t take her seriously, or understand her plight, but because the image of being nibbled to death by ducks was funny. But we all knew what she meant. One duck nibble wasn’t enough to do any damage. Maybe we could even sustain a dozen or so rubbery bills gently mashing on our skin without feeling any ill effects. Nibbled to death, however, was another matter.

One of the many nibbling specimens we saw in Iceland.

It’s easy for small, harmless tasks to pile up, especially when we’re busy dealing with the urgency of day-to-day matters or competing priorities. Having one or two of these annoying burdens pushed aside is no big deal, something that can be knocked out with a quick spurt of furious energy and motivation when the time comes. But when they start to accumulate, it turns into a project, or several projects. Naturally all of these feelings are amplified when also dealing with strong emotions, or life changes.

I haven’t been to bereavement group in almost 15 years, but I can still experience the sensation of being nibbled to death by ducks. When life gets busy and these insignificant chores amass, it becomes a project. They are no longer the kind of thing I can knock out in 10-15 minutes, but instead require hours of my time to power through them. This might be considered procrastinating for some, and labeled as efficiency to others. Some might prefer to wait until a whole bunch of annoying, tiny tasks pile up before tackling them all at once. Whatever the strategy, with a little perseverance, it’s an avoidable death.

Maybe they’re not so harmful after all.

Digital Dilemma, Digital Photos, Iceland

Vacation: The Digital Photo Aftermath

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I recently returned from a fabulous trip to Iceland. Unpacking my suitcase was easy, but I can already tell “unpacking” the digital photos will probably take the same amount of time as the vacation itself. To complicate matters, this was the first trip where I used an iPad, smartphone, and camera to take pictures. I used my smartphone sparingly, primarily when I had nothing else with me or to take pictures to send to people back home. Naturally the iPad and camera do not have the messaging apps I use to communicate with people regularly.

Iceland is full of breathtaking scenery, at times like something from another planet. Every time I thought I had a great view and happily snapped away a few pictures, a few paces further revealed another amazing opportunity. And more images were captured. groan.

A scenic roadside stop to see this lava ring.

I did a few things to minimize the pain of organizing the photos later.

  1. Photographing a sign with the name of the place to give me a reference point.
  2. On my iPad, I immediately put photos into albums with the name of the place before deleting anything.
  3. I reviewed the images on all devices often to weed out the bad ones (e.g., accidental shots, blurry images, over exposed, etc.).

I use Photos on my laptop as my main repository. Rather than import everything as one giant dump from each device, I prefer to upload the photos in batches according to the location or event. This definitely takes longer, but I like organizing as I go and use standardized naming to help locate images later. The process can be kind of tedious, but it also gives me a chance to relive moments, marvel again at the wonders I saw, and help to cement them in my brain.

One of the stunning views from Helgafell (Holy Mountain).

After this part of the process is over, I usually go through the images again on a big screen and do a second round of deletions. Then comes the sharing and figuring out how to send/receive photos with the other people that were on the tour.

As the final stage in the process I like to create a photos album of my trip. This is probably my favorite part, even though choosing the photos can be challenging. All this technology available to take amazing pictures, and yet the process of managing, organizing, and sharing them with different devices and operating systems, is still pretty clunky.

A gull walking on one of the beaches (Ytri Tunga) we visited.

Read more about the trip to Iceland here.

Human Archives

Life Changing Moments

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On this day in 1988 I had my first bassoon lesson. It was one of those random, flukey things that can happen in one’s life with a lasting impact. Initially I had decided to play the clarinet, not so much because I liked it, but because it’s a versatile instrument. My band director approached me and said how about I try the bassoon instead. With only a vague idea of what a basssoon was, I agreed and took home the Box.

I arrived home that day, opened up the box, stared at the pieces for a few minutes before closing it again. I decided to wait for my lesson later that week.

Very confusing how the parts fit together, especially in the days before Google and YouTube.

By the end of the lesson, I decided that this was the instrument I wanted to play. I still remember how amazing it was to breathe through the instrument and flap my fingers around to make all these cool sounds. I still feel that way, thirty years later. In that first hour I learned how to assemble the instrument, play an F-major scale and E-flat. More than enough notes to do some damage.

Action Shot.

 

I left the lesson completely enchanted and motivated to practice. In the beginning my practice sessions were short, but frequent. My lips were not used to the hardness of the reeds. But I was diligent and used to practice in short spurts multiple times in a day. I guess it got a little out of control. One of my earliest bassoon memories is of my older brother complaining to my parents that I couldn’t just play whenever I felt like it. I needed restricted practicing hours. At the time I figured it was sibling rivalry and my brother’s failed attempt to thwart my creative genius. For years I was only allowed to play from 3-4 and 7-8.

I have since had a change of heart about that. Some years ago I was subjected to the playing of a new bassoonist, something like a cross between an animal being sawed in half and rusty hinges. I had a new appreciation for my brother’s complaints and a new respect for my parents. Maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought I was when I started…

Playing the bassoon is still one of the greatest joys of my life. I feel lucky that the “right” instrument picked me so many years ago.

Digital Dilemma

The Media Circus

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Watching Brett Kavanaugh’s “job interview” last week, I had flashbacks to the 1991 hearings between Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas. I was a teenager at the time, but I remember talking about it in school, discussing it with friends, and watching clips of the hearing together. I definitely wasn’t one of those teenagers that read the newspaper, so I primarily learned about the news from other people.

My experience watching the Kavanaugh-Ford hearing couldn’t have been more different. I was working from home last Thursday and watched the hearings alone on my TV. Every break in the hearing flashed immediately to a panel of analysts discussing a play-by-play account of what was happening, how the outcome was looking, and the reactions of people. If my phone hadn’t been on silent, I’m sure it would have been vibrating and pinging frequently with updates and notifications from news feed, posts, and updates. If I had checked Twitter during the hearing, it would have been updating non-stop with commentary and insights, offering a play-by-play account, even if I hadn’t been watching it live.

By the time the hearing finished, my NY Times app was flooded with headlines of articles, op-ed pieces, analysis, updates, and thousands of comments from readers. Many radio and TV channels were offering distilled summaries. Entire news programs were dedicated to discuss the hearing in minute detail. Two news podcasts I enjoy both had shows dedicated to the hearings.

Every major news story has now become like a 3-ring circus. While the main event is going on, the side rings feature social media feeds or commentaries and analysis. The most striking thing is these things happen simultaneously. There’s no time to digest and reflect on something, or to discuss it with others before the relentless torrent of news and analysis start flooding the media streams, each one with its distinctive spin and interpretation. It’s distracting. And we’re naturally influenced by which news streams we choose to read, watch, or listen to for updates and analysis.

It’s normal to have media streams dedicated to and focused on big stories like the Ford-Kavanaugh hearing. What I increasingly fail to notice in today’s media circus is the pace at which news is delivered, how relentless the updates can be, and how little time we have to process any of it. It feels normal to me now.

Deletion, Spring Cleaning

The Art of Making Space

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Do you ever get an urge to purge? That overcrowded email inbox could use some attention. Or maybe you want to organize your thousands of digital photos and videos, or at least locate them all. Some are on your phone, some on your computer, and others tucked away in social media feeds on Instagram and Facebook. Or perhaps you just want to work on the clutter covering the surfaces in your home. How does all this stuff accumulate anyway?

Armed with good intentions, and the motivation to finally get this stuff done, you start the process. Only a few minutes in you realize the clean-up project is actually a lot bigger than you thought. And a lot more complicated. If this sounds like the kind of thing you struggle with, you’re not alone. My new book, The Art of Making Space: Choosing Quality Over Quantity, is designed to help you through these challenges.

When people think of getting rid of things, it’s often associated with destruction or purging, and maybe a touch of frustration. However, the other side of that process is the art of making space. The beautiful part about making space is you get to fill it with whatever you like. The possibilities are infinite. This idea applies to tangible and intangible things. Ever been friends with an energy vampire, somebody that leaves you feeling drained and tired? Ditch the vamp and make space for someone who recharges your energy instead.

Last April I had a baby book launch for the print version of my book. In alignment with my book, I made space for all the wonderful people who supported me and continue to support me. I’d like to thank the many friends who ran in to buy the book during the event, gave me hugs and some encouraging words, even though I got the time wrong. erp.

For a limited time, you can download a free chapter of The Art of Making Space: Choosing Quality Over Quantity, when you sign up for weekly postings of The Deletist. The sign-up form is to the right. Note: if the screen goes white during the download, refresh your browser. 

Save the date for the official book launch: October 25

If you’re interested in attending the book launch, or any other future workshops on decluttering, sign up here and select GTA Decluttering Events / Workshops.

 

 

Digital Dilemma, Social Media

Controlling Global Language

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With all this disinformation and misinformation flying around the internet at viral speeds, controlling it is a daunting task. Equally as daunting as trying to discern the good quality information from all the fabricated and sensationalized stories.

Everything good about the internet, when pushed to one extreme or the other, becomes something entirely different. For example, Facebook was designed to allow people to connect with each other. The default in Facebook was to share with friends and friends of friends, etc. and become “friends” with all of them. On the surface it seems like a great way for people to form new bonds and connect to others with similar interests. Although many people had problems with this, myself included, the full extent of why this default was so problematic wasn’t realized by many until their data was scrubbed by Cambridge Analytics. Remember them, the company that paid some people to take a survey and then quietly accessed all their friends’ information?

I’ve been reading articles lately about regulating the large social media and tech companies with a great deal of interest. One of the main issues has always been that the social media platform is the host (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, etc.), but that doesn’t necessarily make them responsible for controlling the content and determining what people can and can’t post.

Since I’ve lived in North America all my life, for me the big question is where does freedom of speech end and censorship begin. And who’s in charge of creating the rules and then policing them? Is it a good idea for dominant social media and/or tech companies with a global reach to be in charge of this?

If somebody unknowingly spreads (e.g., retweets, posts, forwards, etc.) disinformation (i.e., false information that was intentionally posted), does that make him/her guilty of misinformation or disinformation? How could this be verified or proven? What’s the difference between fake news and beliefs that we hold dear to us, even if they can’t be “scientifically” proven?

To complicate this issue, all of the social media and tech companies are used around the globe. Facebook now has around 2 billion users, more than any one country. How could they ever regulate so much content in so many different jurisdictions in so many different languages around the globe? And should this be up to the companies to do this?