Digital Dilemma

Disconnection with Close Connection

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Perhaps one of the greatest ironies about having so many communication options is the way it impacts close connections. Growing up we had three main forms of communication: telephone, snail mail, and in person. Long distance was extra challenging because phone costs were high, even for calling another county in the same state. Mail was inexpensive, but could take a while. For close connections, we relied on meeting in person.

These days I see people sitting in close proximity to each other communicating with their devices. This is even when they are close enough to speak to each other. I also notice frequent, inexpensive communication methods delaying, or filling in for, in-person meetings. Perhaps the most difficult thing to understand is people ignoring, or side-lining those close enough for real-time meetings, in favor of spending time on a device communicating long distance. Or even sometimes, perhaps more often than I think, people are turning to AI companions.

In the last year I’ve read several articles about younger people turning to AI companions for “dating” rather than try their luck in the real world. Or even with one of the many dating apps available. Having survived decades of dating, the good, the bad, and the ugly, part of me can’t blame these decisions. Real world dating involves a lot of perseverance, effort, and building up the stamina to deal with rejection. Plus it can get expensive.

However, all of these experiences are ways for us to build skills in communication, especially how to understand non-verbal cues. It provides a valuable way for us to learn about human connection, social interaction, and lots of opportunities for self-discovery. I don’t see how any of these things are possible with so much digital communication.

First of all, AI companions agreeable, complimentary, and affirming by design so we feel compelled to keep messaging. While this may sound idyllic, it’s not actually helping anybody prepare for life where we are continually confronted with all sorts of different opinions and mannerisms, many of which may challenge our own. Secondly, digital communications provide us with an opportunity to review and edit, or wait, before replying. Verbal conversations are dynamic and happen fast. Sometimes I say things too quickly or something I say isn’t received well. But this is also an important part of the learning experience to build awareness of the close connections around us.

Digital Dilemma

The Smartphone Dependency

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I replaced my smartphone in December. My previous one was still working, but it was getting old. Some of the features weren’t working properly. I had concerns about staying protected against cyber threats with the older technology. Eventually I caved in and bought the latest and greatest.

The transfer was smooth. Within a couple hours of unpacking my new phone, it was set up and ready. Everything felt and looked like my old phone, except it worked better. Plus it has more memory so I’m not at the limit anymore. However, within a couple of months, things started to happen. As though the universe was sending me a strong signal to stop using and relying on my phone so much, it started getting bunky.

First problem is the phone freezes. Since I often rely on my phone for the time this resulted in some near missed appointments. The first few times it happened, I checked my phone to see how much time I had between meetings. I was completely unaware the time wasn’t updating. Then I would happen to glance at the tiny, almost invisible clock on my computer and realize it was actually a lot later than I had thought. Each time the freezing happens, I have to restart the phone.

It’s so unpredictable that I started wearing a watch again. Sometimes the phone freezes multiple times in a day and sometimes not at all. Another thing is a weird, staticky pattern taking over the phone display. This also requires a restart, provided I can see enough of my screen to do that. In short, the phone is unrepairable and getting replaced.

However, the threat of possibly losing my phone contents, or the use of my phone even temporarily, got me thinking about my dependency on it. The tricky part is that even if I didn’t want to use my phone so much, sometimes there aren’t good alternatives. Everything has slowly morphed into being part of mobile devices and digital culture that weaning away from that can be challenging.

Before going digital I relied on disparate sources. For example, I used a planner, the paper kind. I still sometimes reminisce about the Quo Vadis Sapa. Point being, there’s danger in having the smartphone as a one-stop-shop. When the phone goes, everything goes with it, even if you have a good backup the recovery can still be hard.

Productivity, Social Media

Death by Continuous Scroll

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I’m amazed how easy it is to lose track of time when I start scrolling. No doubt this is by design to keep us glued to one app or another. By the time I pull myself away it’s sometimes difficult for me to remember why I started scrolling. Or what I gained from the experience. Or to recall anything specific because of the brain and sense overload.

Though I almost never use social media, this happens on other apps. For example, news apps or sometimes when searching for a recipe. The next thing I know, I’ve entered some kind of alternative scrolling universe, never to return again.

The other week I heard a podcast about screentime. The episode is called “Screens without Shame: Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price.” It was horrifying to hear the addictive nature of our devices as being equal to slot machines. The main difference being slot machines are available after age 18, whereas smartphones are available at any age. Even without a smartphone, many of the harmful and addictive apps are accessible through other devices such as laptops and tablets. There’s really no way to escape. Even worse, the intentional design of the apps and devices to hijack our attention.

I was also surprised to learn that one of the speaker’s students spend up to 25% of their time scrolling. When I catch myself scrolling, I feel bad if I’ve squandered more than 10-15 minutes of my time. By contrast, these students must have been spending hours every day scrolling. But that could only be possible with some of the addictive built-in mechanisms. For example, continuous playing of one video after another, with no pause in between. Automatically queuing up posts, videos, and content based on previous selections. No break in the content allowing the viewer to have a break for even a few seconds. Combined with other elements such as flashy colors, energetic music, and interactive features, it’s no surprise that scrolling is a time-sucking activity.

Though there are strategies, and yet more apps available, to enforce time limits of our scrolling habits, it’s a constant struggle. Even employing mindfulness and focus when I open my phone, it’s often not enough to resist the allure and pull of the continuous scroll death spiral. Since it’s not possible to stop using my phone, my main strategy has been to find ways to use it less.

Human Archives

The Persevering Push

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Learning music can be difficult. Unlike many other things, there are no shortcuts available. At best, some of us may learn how to “artfully fudge” a hard passage. Or trick the audience into letting their ears and minds fill in some blanks. However, most of the time, it’s hard work to learn my parts. It’s a lot of time and effort spent playing, listening, and pushing through the tough parts.

This weekend I had the distinct pleasure of playing Sibelius Symphony 2 for the first time. Some of my parts were challenging. Although the real challenges came at rehearsal trying to fit my pieces in with everybody else’s. At rehearsals, we rely on each other to have learned our individual parts at home. Then play them right at the right time in rehearsal so we synch up. No amount of ChatGPT, AI, or technological alternatives will help with this process. After all, we’re not robots. We’re people playing music and that leaves an element of variability and sometimes surprise.

This also means I gain skills. Working hard to learn a certain fingering or play a fast passage smoothly means the next time I see those notes they won’t be so difficult. The time invested provides benefits later on. With the technical experience earned through practicing, means I can worry less about hitting the right notes and focus more on the enjoyment of playing music. This allows me to just be in the moment.

Playing Sibelius provided me that opportunity for total immersion and flow focus, again all without any technology. In fact, we’re reminded to silence devices and not have them around to eliminate distractions and ill-timed ring tones. I worked hard to learn my part. During rehearsals I paid attention, listening across the sections so my brain could piece together some of the intricate harmonies, push-pull rhythms, and dynamic meter changes. All while creating an illusion of being in a vast, snowy landscape.

The notes flew by and before I knew it, we were playing the last page! I was so focused on playing my part integrated with everyone else’s I didn’t have time to get nervous about upcoming solos and little exposed bits. We all moved forward together in harmony as people, no AI necessary. It ended up being a lot of fun and a memorable experience, right up there with a Beethoven Symphony.

Uncategorized

The 650th Posting

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Another year. Another 50 posts.

With Generative Artificial Intelligence now fully embedded in our lives and on it’s way to become a verb, some actions are swinging the other way. Perhaps things are moving too fast and we’re overloaded. This had led to shifts towards a better balance with “Work Life Boundaries“. Last summer some kids created a printed newsletter for distribution. Though I’m sure they used high tech to create the publication, the output was old school. All these stories left me “Longing for an Old Connection” as I’ve been seriously contemplating a landline.

We’ve all become so dependent on apps and services. Companies are expert at roping us in with “The Seduction of Subscription Services.” This makes it hard to break away from anything! It’s curious to ponder the myriad ways in which technology works contrary to our uses. For example, technology affords us the ability to write as much as we want and send it across the world in seconds at virtually no cost. Yet, we choose to economize words for these transient communications.

Equally puzzling was how having access to so much information in our pocket left a poor, defenseless skunk trapped in my neighbor’s window well. For days! As though nobody could imagine the potential of solving this very real, malodorous problem with a simple google search. Luckily I caught wind of the situation before the animal expired. I used my phone to look up services, make phone calls, and send information.

Remembering how to focus on the moment more and my phone less definitely helped me playing in the pit orchestra for the Nutcracker. A squeaky ballet shoe left us “Reacting in Real Time” to a dynamic situation. In October I had a transcendent experience playing Beethoven 6. Finally, on the one year anniversary of my aunt’s passing, I had to rely on memories and feelings simply because we didn’t have a digital trail of our relationship.

It wouldn’t be a true Deletist milestone posting without a couple tips on dealing with stuff. Getting ready for renovations, I took time to thin stuff out. This alleviated pressure to purge, while reducing stuff. Also a post on the differences of “Tidying vs. Cleaning.”

The technombie series took a dark turn envisioning a future time when AI can morph itself to penetrate our deepest, darkest places, though I remain hopeful we’ll continue achieve a better balance.

Productivity, True Confessions

Snowy Days, Slow Ways

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I have to confess I felt woefully unprepared for any of the warnings accompanying the monster snow storm. Namely, the thought of losing electricity put me in a mild panic. Not only are my emergency supplies disorganized, but my skills are weak. Relying on the internet I’ve become soft and pampered. Who needs to remember anything when we can just look it up? Except, if there is no electricity to charge devices, cellular, and wifi goes down… this could be a big deal.

Growing up we all marveled at the series “MacGyver.” The show’s protagonist somehow managed to get himself out of many dangerous situations. He accomplished this by using brains, skills, and anything available to devise a solution. He was an improvisation master. As kids, we often invented our own solutions. We had no internet or readily accessible source of instant curated information. Unless we could ask someone, or knew the answer, we learned by experience. In this way, we developed and retained some life skills.

For example, I grew up with a wood burning fireplace. I watched others build many fires. I helped, or did it on my own, sometimes. However, the thought of rekindling this old, learned skill in a time of need without being able to look up instructions or google something left me questioning myself. Could I really build a successful fire from a memory decades old? I also knew if something didn’t go right, nobody else around me would have this particular skill. And I might not have service to call somebody who would know. I thought of this as one possible emergency measure during the storm, if we lost our heat. Where I live now has a fireplace, which is clean, but unused. Though I’m sure the survival instinct would have triumphed, the over-reliant feeling made me uncomfortable.

This is probably one of the biggest downsides of having access to instant information all the time. We get information overload and this overload prevents us from wanting to fill our brains. Why bother to retain or learn anything if the answer is available anytime?

I’m going to make it a point this year to reacquaint myself with some analog survival skills. That way I’ll be prepared. I’ll be ready for zombies, civil war, climate change impacts, or whatever else might happen in this chaotic, topsy-turvy world.